I'm Sorry I Can't Stay
by losercandy
Summary: Rick is moving and Vyvyan has trouble letting go... [implied Rick/Vyv and gore]


Vyvyan felt like all the air had left the room. They had been arguing over it for days, and he was still no less angry about it.

"I'm sorry I can't stay."

Vyvyan unclenched his balled fists and stretched his fingers out as far as he could, trying to shake the anger out of himself through his arms, since it seemed to manifest there.

"Why the fuck not?!"

Rick sighed deeply and his shoulders fell slowly. That was all Vyvyan seemed to ask him anymore.  
If there was only one question, Rick only had one answer. Rick was tired of rehashing this argument, but Vyvyan seemed determined to spend all of their last moments together yelling about it.

"I have to go, Vyvyan."  
"You don't _have _to do anything!"  
"Yes I do, Vyv. He's my father."  
"I don't understand."  
"I don't expect you to."

Rick's words hung heavy in the air with the implications of what he hadn't said, but Vyvyan could read it off his face. He wasn't expected to understand because he couldn't. He wasn't expected to understand because he didn't even have a father. It stung, but it was a point. It was enough to make Vyvyan stop arguing. Rick was leaving and he'd never understand. He'd stop arguing, but that wasn't the end of it.

"If you're leaving, you have to give me something."

Rick glanced up. The anger in Vyvyan's voice had been replaced by something he didn't recognize. He hoped it was acceptance.

"What? Anything, name it."

"You know what I want."

Rick deeply regretted his choice of words.

* * *

"You're going to do it with _what?"  
_"The circular saw is the only thing I have that's going to make it through the _bones, _Rick."  
"Oh shit, Vyvyan." He breathed out slowly.  
Vyvyan stroked his hair back softly, leveling with his eyes.  
"You're not even gonna be awake, I don't see that it matters much."

Vyvyan did not have anesthetics, but he did have bricks. Bricks worked just as well in a pinch, he found.  
He didn't think Rick would probably like the fact that he was using large industrial clamps to secure his arm down, but frankly he didn't give a fuck about what Rick wanted. Not right now. Vyvyan wasn't the bastard who was leaving. Vyvyan wasn't the bastard who couldn't come back. Vyvyan wasn't the bastard who couldn't take anyone with him. Vyvyan was the one with the saw. And he was going to take what he wanted and do as he pleased. He had permission, and he was going to use it.

The saw didn't go through as quickly or as easily as Vyvyan had thought it would, but oh _god _was it gorgeous. It kicked blood up everywhere, spattering it across the white walls. Across Rick's pale unconscious face. Across Vyvyan's arms and clothes and barred teeth. Vyvyan had never cared much for art, but this was pure masterpiece. Where was a camera when you needed one?

Fixing an amputation wound was quite different from standard stiches, but Vyvyan thought he probably did a good job. Rick would be able to wear a prosthetic arm, if he wanted, and Vyv felt like that allowance was being gracious. A little too gracious. He'd meant to take the whole arm, hadn't he? He was fuming at himself. Rick didn't deserve it. He should have lost more. Should have given up more.  
So why hadn't Vyvyan taken more? No. No. Vyvyan didn't care about that not now. He just cared about the arm. It was his arm now, and he wanted to take proper care of it. He scooped Rick out of the chair and roughly slumped him onto the bed. Discarded him. He wasn't important anymore. The only thing that mattered was the arm. At first he'd just stared at it. It was beautiful. At it's end, where it used to be connected to Rick, was all air now. Vyvyan wondered if that meant that the arm belonged to the air now. Or did it make Rick's body larger? Was Rick now his whole self and everything in between that connected the air and his arm? _No. Stupid, Vyvyan. This arm is _yours_ now. It doesn't belong to Rick any more than you do. _Rick was not important. The arm was important. The beautiful lovely arm with ragged skin and jagged bone and cold beauty. It was _his._ It was his and it would be his no matter where the fuck Rick was.


End file.
